Leave your Device at Home and Let's Go Boating

Leave your Device at Home and lets go Boating

By: Tom Riggs

LEAVE YOUR DEVICES AT HOME – LETS GO BOATING

Tom Riggs

There have been questions circulating for whom The Wilson River is named; those true to Seahawks football think it was Russell Wilson, fans of Dennis the Menace believe it was Mr.Wilson, fans of girl bands think Wilson – Phillips, and those who have been deserted on islands and shun human company lean to believe it was named after a volleyball. Those in the know understand it was named for Clanford Wilson, co-inventor of the internet with Al Gore. Clanford’s internet predated electricity so his fame has been clouded by those who insist web based communication must be linked to the movement of electrons somehow.

Clanford was a realist when it came to relaying information up and down the river canyon that bears his name. His method employed hollerin’ from one fisherman on the bank to the next one upstream to report on success or defeat at each steelhead hole. Eventually the fishing got so popular that anglers overflowed into adjacent river basins such as The Kilches, Trask, Nehalem, and Miami. The hollerin’ got louder to carry the messages over the Coast Range and found its way into the Silicon Forests of Hillsboro and Beaverton where fishing and eventually rafting reports were recorded on the blackboards at Sportsmen’s Warehouse and Cabela’s. The hollerin’ method of internet communication became so popular that The House and Senate soon adopted it as their main way of trying to get their point across The Aisle. So next time you are hollerin’ to eddied out rafters about some logjam down stream you can thank Clanford Wilson for the internet.

Since our group of 7 boats navigated in precise tight formation for the February 4^th trip, the Wilson Canyon internet method was underemployed, the only exception being when we were yelling at upside down kayaker Ryan Gilles who time and again refused instructions to Eskimo roll and chose to wet exit claiming breathing air was better than breathing water (God hates a coward).

This trip was a rarity in that there were no catboats; we had Carl and Quenton in a tandem IK, Jared and Kimberly Linkhart, and Jason van Warmerdam and Ryan 2 in two R2 rafts, Tim Weitz and Adam, Tom Riggs and Davor Braut, and Thomas Benke in oar rafts, plus Ryan Gilles in (and out) of his hardshell kayak. It was a brisk but relatively clear Sunday launching at Jones Creek Day Use area and the gage at Tillamook was 4.9 ft which is a tad below the 5 ft minimum I like but certainly doable with relatively few hangups on gravel bars.

We knew we were in for a long day when we finally passed Jordan Creek an hour into the trip. We passed under the footbridges into a narrow section of river and recovered the kayak and took a vote whether or not to retrieve its operator, which we did, but I still claim election fraud. Jared asked when we would stop for lunch and I could hear his stomach growling so to avoid being eaten I suggested we tough it out just past The Narrows since others had butterflies in their guts depleting their appetites in anticipation of the squeeze.

The approach to The Narrows is preceded by large cliff faces on each side of the constricting river with a turbulent mini Coffee Pot that of course ate our now kayaker dubbed submariner. Fifty feet beyond this boil is the true Narrows where at 5 ft on the river gage is just under 6 ft wide. Davor grabbed AquaRyan and pulled him and his paddle into our raft. Carl and Quentin slipped through the gap easily in their tandem IK and our boat put the cork in the bottle.

Quentin exited to the right bank, and we put our new passenger, Ryan, to work by having him toss the throw rope in his best girlie fashion toward our savior on the shore. Ryan blames the equipment for the short throw, Im thinking he just wants to prolong his stay on a boat that actually stays upright. Nevertheless Quentin scrambles across the rock face and fetches the business end of the rope, with our end ‘binered to the bow D ring. Davor, Ryan and I shift our weight to the left tube and pull up on the right side of the frame and with a mild pull, Tugboat Quenton completes his task and we are birthed into the calm pool below The Narrows.

The Linkharts passed through the slots with ease because they had paid homage to the River Gods the day before on The Mollalla. Jason van Warmerdam and Ryan 2 looked like they had done some NASCAR training on their approach since hitting both walls seemed par for the course but they too emerged unscathed. Tim and Adam shipped oars and passed through as if they were the stars of the training film on how to run the slot. Thomas Benke did the bump and grind but was not given passage until he showed us his shake your booty dance moves in scootching the raft inch by inch through the slot.

We had launched at 11:06 and we were just pulling into lunch just below The Narrows on river left a little after 2:00 with lots of miles ahead of us. Thomas offered the kayakers some of his hot tea which was well received as a warmer. Boaters found bushes, then their lunches and after a 20 minute break we were off to meet the Diagonals and rapids of Fall Creek.

Even at these sub optimal flows the Diagonals were holding their shape and the runout at Fall Creek rapid climaxes in a large rock that you skirt on the right then recover in the eddy below to pick up swimmers. By now I thought fishing Ryan G out of the drink again and his wrinkles would surrender him and his kayak to an oar boat, but being the trooper he is, figured he had gotten his 6 or 8 swims out of the way. The sun was getting low.

About 10 minutes later we were passing under the first Highway 6 bridge signaling the river gradient would be less and enough side streams had entered such that rocking up was less imminent.

A mile below the bridge is a large pour over rock easily skirted on the right followed by other waves and holes that require reckoning. Some of the bank side channels had trees washed into the ideal route but again easily avoided by anyone reading the river.

We passed by the first drift boat slide, a steep wooden ramp that could be used as an emergency take out provided there was enough manpower to hoist the boat and gear to the top. Not today. About 30 minutes later we drifted by Alice’s Restaurant where you used to be able to get anything including use of a ramp down to the river as a take out in a by gone era. The second drift boat slide is less of an incline and is paralleled by stairs which would make for a slightly easier haul out for IKs or kayaks but still the manpower would be an issue for rafts.

Approaching the second Kansas Creek road bridge we could see a twisty rapid at the base of a cliff. Yay! Ryan G made it through as did Carl and Quenton. Waiting in the recovery pool below, we got to watch Jason van Warmerdam imitate Jaques Cousteau with his scuba entry off a dive boat, leaving Ryan2 as sole proprietor of the R2. Benke was in the chase boat but fearing a court marshal for abandoning ship, Jason swam back down to his craft and reboarded as Ryan2 held it steady in the current. Thomas Benke, who personally knew Clanford Wilson of internet fame gave out a “hollar” as he passed through the twisty demon unscathed.

Being about a mile from the Mill Bridge, our takout, all were pushing on the oars and paddle to make it to the cobble beach before sunset. We arrived around 5 pm and made haste loading gear and heading back to the land of heated homes, color TV, and of course, the internet.

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